When I was pregnant with Kayla, I couldn’t wait to give birth. If I could have, I probably would have fast forwarded through the entire pregnancy just to meet my little girl. In all fairness, I did have an awful pregnancy that resulted in bed rest, but nevermind that. I still could not wait for the day that I had her. And then I did.
They said she was not ready yet, but she apparently had plans of her own. On the day of my 34th week, she came. Quickly, I might add. I had my little girl, and I couldn’t wait to hold her.
Then I couldn’t wait to take her home. Then I couldn’t wait until she slept through the night. Then I couldn’t wait for her to sit up. And then she did all of these things.
Last night I realized something. At every pivotal moment in my child’s life, I have always been a step ahead.
Oh wow! Look hunny! She is crawling! Oh I can’t wait for her to walk!
I know I like to say I enjoy every moment of it as it happens, and I do. But there is always the excitement for the next step.
It wasn’t until last night that the realization dawned on me that my daughter really is growing up. It wasn’t because of some milestone I had been anticipating, it just happened out of the blue. She is picking up things, and putting them into different contexts. Yesterday, I told Kayla that I had to go back to work tomorrow.
“You have to go to work namorrow?” (for some reason, that’s how she pronounces tomorrow)
“Yup. It’s Monday.”
“Oh. I go to work too!”
“Oh! You have to go to work tomorrow too?”
“Yeah, I need some money in my pocket do I go to work too. I money hungry!”
Perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised. My step father is always saying that he is money hungry, but it represented something more. She is having her own conversations, and understanding what they mean. It was bittersweet. She is a little person, not just a toddler.
This reminds me of the song Then They Do by Trace Adkins, which conveniently was my father/daughter song. You look forward to all the things they will do as they grow up, and then they do and you don’t realize how much you miss the past.
So, treasure your children. Or your pet’s. Or your siblings. Things are always changing, and you will never regain that moment again.