Category: Career

Music: A Thought on Moods

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I have decided that music has the ability to directly affect my mood. Driving into work today, my Pandora sucked hardcore. Literally I maxed out the skips on 6 different stations. I went from a decent mood, to a raging psychopath in the span of my 1 hour commute. Not pretty.

But after trudging up the stairs and fixing myself a second cup of coffee, I started up my Pandora again. I did so hesitantly as I was still mad at it for playing such craptastic selections, but I can’t work in silence. Immediately it played Foo Fighters. It was a wonderful apology. I forgave it. Taking it to the next step, it followed up Foo Fighters with ACDC, then Foreigners. And before I knew it, I was in a fabulous mood. I just knew today was going to be a great day! I was even ridiculously productive – scheduling a handful of meetings, and attacking my unread inbox liked a crazed, caffeine-influenced maniac. It was beautiful. Glorious even. Nothing could ruin my mood!

Then Pandora played U2 and I contemplated throwing my laptop out our second story window, then going outside and running it over a million times with my SUV, followed by an aggressive use of gasoline and fire. Productive mood depleted.

Thanks Pandora, you sadistic thing you. I’m switching to Spotify.

Universal Law: Mondays Must Suck

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Today is one of those days where “I just can’t even.” Literally, stapling papers together today seems like an odious chore. I look at my expenses that need sorting, and its giving me a stress headache. Don’t even get me started on my email inbox. The glaring (180) next to the line Unread Inbox may send me into an all over panic attack.

Perhaps its because I took Friday off to take the kiddos to Disney on Ice – (Seriously? $15 for a damn lemonade? Disney sure is ridiculous!). I am always out of whack after a long weekend, or a vacation. Perhaps its because I stayed up too late watching T.V. with my husband last night, knowing full well that my alarm would go off at 5:30 A.M. with annoyingly accurate precision. Or, most likely, its because no matter what happened, today is Monday and universal law decrees that Mondays must suck. I’m going to go with that.

Plus my hair is having a shit-fit. And I have a blister from my shoe. Why don’t we just add in a zit and make this an extra special Monday? I need more coffee to combat this.

So, how is your Monday going? If you say good, I may hurt you.

Women of Worth

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SAHM-v-WM-1

Originally, I had a post planned for today to cover something simple, something fun about raising kids in 4 feet of snow. It’s great, I promise. No sarcasm there… Anyways I had fully planned it, and even took fun photos to share. However while waiting in line to purchase my life fuel, a.k.a. Dunks Coffee, I overheard a rather interesting conversation. The words are pretty spot on, thanks to my memory. Although my memory only works well when its something that pisses me off. Here it goes…

Person 1: “I know, I can’t believe it. Some people these days.”

Person 2: “But yeah, if they don’t hire her, she will assume she’ll probably claim prejudice.”

Person 1: “It’s got nothing to do with that. I mean she hasn’t worked in like 5 years.”

Person 2: “I can’t believe she expected to get the job even though she hasn’t been doing anything but “raising kids.” (This person even did the quote gesture) I did that too, but I still worked. It’s not like this is the south where they have 5 or 6 kids popping out.”

Person 1: “Raising kids my ass. She lives in Chestnut Hill. I guarantee you she had a nanny.” (This person then laughs, which annoyed me further.) At this point, I am just seconds away from saying something, but I bit my tongue. I hadn’t had my coffee yet, and it was 9 degrees out, so I knew if I opened my big fat mouth it would be to lay waste to their puny existence. But do you know what is even more horrible about this? It was two women, who were mothers (deduced from their conversation), talking about the other woman as being less than them.

Women often feel that they have less advantage in a work environment because men look down on them. We fight for equal rights and equal stance with these men, but what about equal stance with other women? Is a woman who stayed at home raising children any less valuable to a society than one who worked instead? Is a woman who worked any less of a mother than one who stayed home? No. They are both valuable, and they are both mothers. .

Women want to be treated as equals to men. They want to be on the same footing, the same pedestal. Yet at the same time, they put down other women. Working moms put down stay-at-home moms. Stay-at-home moms put down working moms. How can a woman gripe about the unfairness of gender bias, when she does the same thing?  

Perhaps this is a rant, but I couldn’t help it. I don’t know the woman they spoke of, maybe it was a type of position where the gap could affect her performance, but still I think those two women at Dunks need a kick in the damn teeth. Quit bitching and start respecting.

On a happy note, they made my coffee right and I am in bliss. 

Oh, Good Morning Monday

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It is Monday, our favorite day of the week. I am starting to think that Monday isn’t just a day, but an actual entity. And it hates me. With a burning passion. My day started like this;

Woke up to baby crying. Hubby decides that he can ignore the baby, even though its his turn to get up. He doesn’t. So I do. It is 4 AM. I get baby to fall back asleep, for an hour. She is up again. This time I elbow the hubby and he reluctantly gets up, re-wraps her and plops her beloved pacifier back in. She is content, but awake. He goes back to bed. He starts snoring. She is munching happily on her little orange pacie. Mommy lays awake until she begrudgingly gets up to start her day.

Cue traffic. Lots of it. 495 is backed up. So I go Route 2 to 95. That‘s a mess. An hour and a half later I arrive at work and stop to grab a coffee. Dunkin Donuts made my coffee wrong. Not just a little wrong, but wicked wrong. Like asking for a French Vanilla with skim milk and no sugar, and getting a pumpkin coffee with EXTRA FREAKING CREAM and like 12 sugars. I gagged. I went back in and had them make me a new one, something I never do. Next go? Regular coffee. Begrudgingly, I accept it. I head in to work. Someone bumps into me while walking into my office, and my hot coffee spills down my shirt. Fantastic. A couple of paper towels later, I look somewhat normal. I head into my office and throw on the light. And guess what? There is a massive freaking spider chilling on the window. And because its on the outside, I can’t get it to move. Its just sitting there, looking at me. I know its looking at me. Now its eating a bug. Great.

Its not even 11, and all I want to do is pretend this day never existed. Seriously. Mondays are like Karma days. I cut someone off on Friday, now Monday is all I’m Gonna Get You My Pretty! Screw this. I want my bed.

Sincerely,

A wicked annoyed, coffee-drenched woman who can’t help but stare at the massive spider on her window.

Gumption: A Thought About Pursuing Dreams

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I am proud to say that I am from a family that has a lot of gumption. We grab life by the balls and make it our bitch. Forgive my brutal honesty, but it is true. There is not a single person in my family who doesn’t rock. On my mother’s side at least. My dad’s side, that’s a whole different story. But screw them we aren’t talking about them.

Point being, I have some great examples to aspire to in my family. This is part of where my determination stems from. It is due to their support that I have come as far as I have. And trust me, it wasn’t easy. I work full time, commute as much as as three hours a day, raise two children, a crazy pooch, and a husband. (Yes, I sometimes feel like I am raising my husband!) I go to school online full time, and maintain two blogs, and I edit on the side. Why do I put myself through this? Because I am determined to get to where I want to be.

I want to write. I want to read. I want to edit. I want that to be my job. I want to be so immersed into the literary world that I can duplicate the library in Beauty and the Beast. Okay that is a bit of an exaggeration, but still. If I had the space I probably would make that my goal.

And you know what? I will achieve that, no matter how hard I have to work. Because that is what my family taught me. Because I have the gumption to make it happen. Do you?

Finding Your Voice

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findyourvoice

Yesterday, I was speaking with a pretty fabulous friend of mine and she said something that sparked a bit of a soul-searching-vibe within me. She told me to keep writing, and eventually I would find my voice. Of course, my initial thoughts on this were along the lines of a typical child; “But when would I find it? How will I know I found it? Why do I need a stupid voice anyways?” Okay, that last one was just something a petulant child (me) would have said before she matured to the awesome person she is today. (Everyone that knows me just snorted at that statement.) The real question is, what is my voice? What is it that I hope to accomplish with this blog? Or with my writing in general?

The truth is, I have no idea. I know that I love to write, and this blog lets me do that. It also lets people read my writing. A goal of any writer is reach an audience, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Yeah I know, a lot of writers say “I write for myself” but that’s just not true. If it were just for yourself, then you could keep it locked up in that pretty little brain of yours and just dream it like a movie. But when you put that pen to the paper, you are doing so to share. And that’s a beautiful gift, one that people should cherish.

So what beautiful gift do I want to share? I am not sure yet. Do I want to become a published author? Of course I do. Do I have what it takes? No idea. Will I try? Probably, at some point. However, I don’t think that is all that I am meant to do. Thanks to this blog, I was able to meet some wonderful people, and these people value my opinion. It has allowed me to realize that maybe writing isn’t all I am good at. Being able to help other writers, even with just a few corrections here and there, or some advice on story flow, has become a passion I never knew existed. Who knows, maybe one day this blog will say “Kay Froebel, Editor.” That sounds like a good voice to me.

Dear Presidential Candidates

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Dear Presidential Candidates,

I know you are busy strutting your stuff on stage, and arguing why you are the better option; but I have something to say. I am not really a person of note, and I can’t claim to have the education and experience as you. What I do have is something you do not; a perspective from the working class.

Each of you claim that you will improve the economy, boost jobs, and decrease debt. I am sure your plan sounds great, and looks even better on paper. I am sure that you are going to do everything in your power to make this country better. I do not doubt your intentions at all. What I do doubt is your ability to listen.

Take a moment to step down from your pedestal. Just a small moment, that is all I ask. I want you to think like those of us that work day to day, living from pay check to pay check. Lets say last year I was making $20 an hour. I got a raise of $0.06 an hour. That is an extra $2.40 a week. However, my healthcare costs increased by $7.20 a week. Gas has increased by $.42 a gallon, as have about 95% of food costs, retail costs, as well as service costs, i.e. cell phone, cable, internet, etc. I am effectively working for less money this year as I was last year. And costs are just continuing to rise.

Why is the middle class shrinking? Because your forcing them into poverty. Open your eyes and pay attention.The corporations outsource our jobs, then whine about decreased sales. Well if they take away someone’s job, obviously they are not going to be buying as much, thus the economy will fall. I understand they can make that T-Shirt for $.03 over in china, then sell it here for $29.99 which increases their profits. It is business sense, totally understand. The thing is they then give a nice hefty big bonus to their head honchos. Do I think Executives should be paid well? Yes I do. Do I think they should be given million dollar bonuses while they have to cut raises for the lower workers because of lack of profits? No.

The fact is, you cater to the rich, assist the poor, and forget the working class. I am not saying that I would rather be in poverty. They have struggles too, and I am glad that those who need the assistance get it. However that doesn’t change the fact that those of us who do work our butts off to stay out of that have it easy. Get your stuff together and fix this country. Help all of your citizens. Don’t preach about what your doing or going to do for them, as chances are you won’t. Instead, why don’t you show them? Why not prove that you are going to make a difference.

If this post is out of line then I apologize. I am currently sitting at my desk waiting to see if I get laid off. So far, many of my coworkers have. Why don’t you, Presidential Candidates, come and sit at my desk. Playing the waiting game might make you remember that you have a responsibility to the people. Stop strutting, stop arguing, and start listening.

Sincerely,

An annoyed middle class citizen

Moms: A Thought about Schedules

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Moms: A Thought about Schedules

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week, I had the amazing opportunity to interview an author I have been following for a while now, Krystal Wade. The details of the interview will be posted once I sit my butt down to actually finalize the post, but let’s not focus on that. During the interview, Krystal mentioned a few things that really got me thinking. Modern mothers have some serious schedules, most without a minute to spare! So what do we do with our time? The better question is what do we not do!

When we go about our day to day lives, we seldom think about how much we are actually doing. Unless we are in a frustrated mood, our busy schedules hardly register. I got to thinking about this because during my discussion with Krystal, we talked about our schedules. So to better understand just how much I have on my figurative plate, I wrote down all the major things I do. This list is just my basic responsibilities, no shopping, no bill paying, no social obligations. These are just the majorities.

First, and most importantly I am a mom. As some of you may know I am the proud mommy of a two and a half year old diva with an obsession for shoes. Those of you that are parents may cringe when I mention her age, and you should! She is in full terrible-twos mode! I am also a soon to be wife to an incredible man who helps make this crazy schedule possible. Without him, I would be lost!

The next thing is obvious, but I should still mention it. I run this blog, which is a complete blast by the way. I actually spend a lot of time reading books to review, reading other blogs to comment on, managing the social media, etc. Many of you understand this, but for those that don’t I will just say that it can be a bit time consuming, although awesomely fun.

When I am not reading, or writing for my blog you can usually find me writing in general. I write my own novels, though I hoard them like a crazy person and refuse to let the world see the big ones, which of course is most of them. Writing for me is a major stress reliever, and even if I only get a chance to write a few sentences before I can no longer keep my eyes open it is worth it.

Now for the nitty-gritty stuff, meaning my job. I work full time at a very time-demanding job that is 40 miles away from where I live. The commute sucks, but hey it’s a hour of peace that enables me to brainstorm my posts, as well as butcher my favorite songs with my loud, off-key voice. My job is great in the respect that I am kept busy, I get to travel, and I get to meet incredible, influential people in the healthcare world. Plus it pays my bills, so I can’t hate on that!

Sound busy yet? No? You need more? Okay great! I am also a full time student majoring in English Language and Literature in hopes of eventually becoming an editor. Sound fun? I certainly think so! It has been such a wonderful experience so far. I am positively thrilled to be back in school, even though it has effectively reduced the amount of sleep I get. Some people have told me I am crazy, but I just smile. Despite the crazy, hectic, often frantic days I am content with my schedule. There is not a single thing I would give up!

Oh! I am also planning a wedding which is happening in three and a half weeks! So raise your glass to the multi-tasking, I-have-more-to-do-today-than-physically-possible mothers in your life! They may not all have schedules like mine, but you can be assured it is just as hectic!

What does your schedule look like?

Self: A Thought on What Defines Us

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Self: A Thought on What Defines Us

This Tuesday, something miraculous happened. I went back to school! Okay, maybe not really miraculous but it is still pretty exciting for me. Want to know the best part? I am starting from scratch. Since I was 18, I have entered into about 900 different “career paths” that I just knew I wanted. Slight exaggeration, it is more like 4 but you get the point. They were usually on the science side of things, which is cool. I love science, especially natural related things, i.e. geography, aerospace, oceanography, etc. I hopped from Engineering, to Business, to Biochem, to Business, and a hundred other ideas that never saw fruition.

All of this time I was simply trying to ‘identify’ who I am, and what I would do with my life. Also during this time, I did what I have always done. I wrote. I kept journals, wrote my own fiction, even dabbled in poetry. I did this to help alleviate stress because I loved to do it. You should see my old hard drive, it is filled with stuff from over 10 years’ worth of writing. Most of it is pretty… bad.  Anyways, during this journey to discover myself, the one thing that I loved most was always overlooked. It had never occurred to me to pursue it. I just assumed people when to school for English because they wanted to be a teacher, which I have no desire to do. I would be a really, really bad teacher. You know the type, really intolerant, evil, sarcastic ones that you dread getting. Yes, that would be me.

It wasn’t until I got involved in a very close fiction site that I truly began to think just maybe there is more to this than I thought. I started writing for fictionpress.com, for different fandoms just to keep writing. What started as a hobby to occupy my time turned into a passion that occupied my thoughts. My stories started winning awards, I was started to get a little credit, and a little following. I began to feel like maybe this wasn’t just a hobby.

When I was contacted by a publisher back in December, my world kind of halted. At the time, I didn’t have anything really to submit, but he urged me to keep writing. He said my writing was “effortlessly marketable” and engaging. I was left speechless. I spent the next few months attempting to not let it consume me too much. I had a wedding to plan, work to do, a daughter to raise. There was no way I could add writing a novel onto my to-do list too. Sure, I still wrote the stories that I had been posting to various sites with little issue, but that was different. That wasn’t published work; that was simply having fun and unwinding from a long day.

What finally gave me the push to go back to school? In the end it was one person. A person on one of the sites I frequented told me,

You are a great writer… but it’s more than that. It is the ideas, the emotion, and the passion that you breathe into your stories that makes me a fan.

I was so touched, and so moved by her thoughts, as she herself was a writer I thoroughly enjoyed, that in that exact moment I knew I wanted to go back to school. No matter what happens, this person will remain in my heart. I owe the courage I now have to pursue my passion to her. Thank you, my friend.

Why go back to school then, if I already had a following? I know my weaknesses. I can write so fast that sometimes, I make errors. It is always hard to edit your own stuff. The reason is you know what you are trying to say, and many times you skim over errors because you brain is already filling in what that line is supposed to say. I wanted to change that weakness. If I truly wanted to pursue writing, then I was going to give my readers the best that I could do. That night I spoke with my fiancé, and he supported my decision fully.

After looking into the options I had, I settled on English Language and Literature. True, I could have gone straight for Creative Writing as I originally intended, but writing is not my only goal. I want to take my own experience and ability and help others to succeed in their dreams. I enjoy editing and critiquing just as much as I enjoy writing my own works. It is my belief that interactions with other writers helps make your own writing that much stronger. To me, there is nothing better than surrounding yourself with what your passionate about, as well as people who share that same passion.

That is why Tuesday was a miraculous day for me. It was a day that symbolized my step forward into defining not only who I am, but who I want to be.

Hell: A Thought on Mondays

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Hell: A Thought on Mondays

Juggling my day to day life is normally something I can do on autopilot. I am a fairly busy woman with a two year old who loves to test her limits. That being said, there are days that things just seem to be too much. This type of day occurred yesterday, which of course was a Monday.

It began with traffic. Not just any traffic, but Interstate 495 traffic. Any of you who have been to Massachusetts and driven on this cursed highway know my strife. Although it is not the worst highway, it is definitely one of them.

Two hours I sat in my car to travel the 39 miles to work. Normally, I can do this in 35 minutes without issue. Not yesterday, no it took much longer. I spent an hour and half of it traveling the last 19.7 miles. That’s an average of 13mph. Do you know what that does to a driver like me? Infuriates them, that’s what. I become obsessively territorial and never let anyone merge into my lane, it makes me hate everyone driving on the other side of the highway going 75mph with ease; oh and let’s not forget how it causes me to spew fire.

Yes, it was an awful start to my morning, which was only further soured by Dunkin Donuts getting my order wrong. Not even partially wrong, I mean seriously wrong. Like the type of wrong that has you scratching your head trying to figure how just how they could have possibly gotten it this wrong. Nope, not a good morning at all.

I breezed into my office with my attempt at hiding my scowl in hopes that I could retire to my cubicle and hide away until lunch and repair my mood. I would have effectively reached my happy level by noon. But oh the universe was against me this day, this awful, wretched Monday! Despite my obvious scowl and clear look of “leave me alone” I am at once bombarded with chaos. Not just normal work day chaos, but complete, and utter chaos. Nothing, it seems, had gone right that day for anyone.

“I need this… I need that… Do this… Do that… Did you forget… Did you forget to remind me…” and so on and so on.  Instead of breathing easy by noon, I was foaming at the mouth and nursing a severe headache.

I know what you’re thinking. Man that sounds like a bad day, but it can only get better from there. Shush. Don’t think. That optimism has no place in my bad Monday blog post! It did not get better, it got worse. Ten times worse! A hundred times even! I would say a thousand, but you get the point.

So what could possibly have happened to make it such an awful day? The electric company happened. Now normally, this would not upset me, but it could not have occurred at a worse time. At promptly twelve thirty, our power went out. My lunch was at 00:17 seconds into its 02:30 minute cooking time. Along with the power went the Air Conditioning. Did I mention it was wicked humid out? My office building jumped 10 degrees in about seven minutes. They are cheap as it is so the AC wasn’t even on a good level to begin with.

It never came back on. For two hours we were not allowed to leave. We had to wait and see. After all, the internet still worked and we all have laptops. It was the rule of thumb that once your laptop died, you could go home. Of course this meant everyone turned up their brightness and played the most energy consuming video they could find. Me? Nope. I could not go home. Remember how I said I was meeting with my doctor come Monday to discuss the whole overweight thing? Yeah, that was in the opposite direction of my home. I would have had to drive that 39 miles back home, just to walk in, give the fiancé and nugget (daughter) a kiss before jumping back in my car and driving 59.8 miles to my doctor’s office. I chose this specific doctor because how close they were to my work. Silly me why would I do such a thing?

So I sat there, in my dark little cubicle for another hour playing Tiny Tower on my phone – Awful game, but horridly addicting. The clock strikes three and I leap up and skip to the door and make my merry way to the doctors where I get totally amped up to lose weight and be healthy. Then she says with an irksome smile, “Great! We will get started after your laps and next appointment. My calendar is booked until November.”

Seriously? I have to wait until November to lose weight? This is where I envision myself throwing a massive hissy fit in my mind, meanwhile in reality I calmly smile and say “That sounds great! Thank you!”

What happens next? Well this horrid driver gets back behind the wheel and drives 1.2 miles before having to slam on her brakes. Guess what it was? I bet you won’t guess it. No, it wasn’t an animal. It was… wait for it…. TRAFFIC! More traffic! As if my day needed any more traffic! It then proceeded to take me another lovely two hours to get home. It was great. The only thing that kept me from spewing the foulest curses imaginable was the fact that the radio was playing great songs. Instead I opened the windows, and belted out the songs in my awful, tone-deaf voice. I am sure I made quite the sight, dancing to my music with my gigantic sun glasses in my little white corolla. Did I mention I am tone-deaf? Oh well, it gave them something to laugh at for two hours.

When at last my little corolla pulled into my garage and I entered my nice cool apartment, I felt myself cringing at what would greet me. I had horrible visions of my child running amuck like they usually do, with my poor fiancé running behind her with a look of exhaustion and panic. I debated on taking a walk before heading in, but I was starving. Instead, I opened the door hesitantly. I was greeted with a sparkling clean apartment, a reheated, but delicious dinner and a ice cold cherry coke zero. I kicked off my heels and dove in, famished since the power outage stole my chance at lunch. My fantastic fiancé even knew better than to ask me how my day was. Once I had successfully put on three pounds by inhaling my pasta, the fiancé and I curled up on the couch with Kayla. This time, it only took a few minutes to reach my happy level.

As we put Kayla to bed, after reading her an incredibly long bed time story, I promptly forgot about the woes of my day. Then I woke up late and remembered how much the universe hates me.