Apparently I’m a Bad Parent

Message of the day: no matter how you parent, someone is going to tell you that you are wrong, that you are horrible, and that you should have been neutered. You can’t please everyone. Why bring this up? Well I received a rather interesting email from someone I interacted with (briefly I might add) on social media. It was regarding a comment my 4 year old daughter had said that I found cute, and decided to share. What was this comment that spurred such a heated letter? What horrible things did I allow my daughter to say?

“Mommy, when I grow up I’m going to marry a girl and we are both going to be princesses!”

Call the police, call social services, and while your at it, why don’t you call a priest! (That’s sarcasm, for those of you that lack a sense of humor.) This person was so completely stricken that I did not punish her for saying such, what did she say… oh yes…”heinous and ridiculous statements.” And how could I be such a “disgusting, sinful villain posing as a parent,” for no “true parent” would not allow their child to say such awful things. And what’s worse is that I was okay with it. That’s right, I told my daughter, “You can marry whoever you want.” The atrocity!

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First, my daughter is 4. Two weeks ago she wanted to marry her Grampy. I mean she marries her stuffed bear every weekend. Are you going to freak out and accuse me of allowing her to take part in bestiality? Well crap, you probably would.

Second, if my daughter grows up and wants to marry a woman, then she grows up and marries a woman. Does that affect your life? No, pretty sure it doesn’t. Unless of course she marries your daughter, in which case I will see you at the wedding. Forgive me if I punch you in the face. I promise, it will be an accident. Sort of.

Third, how is it that every generation finds some magical thing to be offended by? First there was the fight for equal rights for blacks. Then there was the fight for equal rights for women. Now its a fight for equal rights for those of a different sexual orientation. Are you seeing a trend here? People want to be equal. Why not let them? So what if you view it as sinful, its not like their actions are your sin. So kindly shut your trap.

Fourth, maybe I LIKE being a villain. Villain’s get to have more fun. And they look cooler doing it. And they get the cool powers. So there.

Just Like Mommy

It has been happening often over the past few weeks. The indisputable proof that my daughter is my child. Don’t get me wrong, I know she is my daughter, I was present during the labor after all. But its the little things that prove she is in fact a miniature me.

Don't let that smile fool you...

Don’t let that smile fool you…

For example, she is a sarcastic little brat. Yup. That’s right. I called her a brat. With her big brown eyes, and sassy little mouth, she shoots out a retort that leaves you momentarily speechless. The way she props her little hand on her hip, and somehow manages to look down on you, despite being a good 2ft shorter than you. The way the sides of her lips tilt up in a cheeky smirk, and her little eyebrows raise in a perfect arch. She. Is. Me. Well except the eyebrow thing, I cannot for the life of me make my eyebrows do that.

Last night, the little she-devil got into the fluff. I noticed she disappeared into the kitchen for a good few minutes when it suddenly struck me. She was getting into stuff. Not just any stuff, the fluff I had just used for their hot cocoa. (Because fluff is way better than those puny marshmellows SwissMiss gives you) As I move, loudly I might add, towards the kitchen, she pops her head out with an innocent smile.

“What were you doing?”

“Looking at stuff.”

“Oh? What were you looking at?” She lets out a dramatic sigh and looks to the ceiling.

“It’s a kitchen, mom, I was looking at kitchen stuff.” She’s not even 5 yet, she’s not allowed to call me mom! I am still mommy, dammit!

“So the fluff on your face just magically got there?” The dramatic look drops off her face, and she immediately tries to hide the evidence.

“I didn’t eat it.” Uh huh. Magic fluff. At least she didn’t blame her sister, I view this as an improvement.

As I investigated the kitchen, it would appear she hadn’t been able to get the cover back on the fluff in time. So I put on my angry mom face, hands on hip, and stare her down.

“Are you supposed to stick your finger in Fluff, or any container of food for that matter?”

“No.”

“And should you lie about it?”

“No.” At this point she is rocking a pout. A full pout with the big doe eyes. Not falling for it. So I tell her she can’t have dessert. The pout morphs. It becomes something I am growing very accustomed to. Pure sass.

“Really mom? Like you don’t eat fluff?” Color me surprised! I do sneak a bit of fluff every now and then! Darn her! After a quick agonizing moment of that sassy, sarcastic smirk, I finally find a retort.

“I use a spoon! Now go wash your hands!”

Kayla: 1….. Mommy: 0

Women of Worth

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Originally, I had a post planned for today to cover something simple, something fun about raising kids in 4 feet of snow. It’s great, I promise. No sarcasm there… Anyways I had fully planned it, and even took fun photos to share. However while waiting in line to purchase my life fuel, a.k.a. Dunks Coffee, I overheard a rather interesting conversation. The words are pretty spot on, thanks to my memory. Although my memory only works well when its something that pisses me off. Here it goes…

Person 1: “I know, I can’t believe it. Some people these days.”

Person 2: “But yeah, if they don’t hire her, she will assume she’ll probably claim prejudice.”

Person 1: “It’s got nothing to do with that. I mean she hasn’t worked in like 5 years.”

Person 2: “I can’t believe she expected to get the job even though she hasn’t been doing anything but “raising kids.” (This person even did the quote gesture) I did that too, but I still worked. It’s not like this is the south where they have 5 or 6 kids popping out.”

Person 1: “Raising kids my ass. She lives in Chestnut Hill. I guarantee you she had a nanny.” (This person then laughs, which annoyed me further.) At this point, I am just seconds away from saying something, but I bit my tongue. I hadn’t had my coffee yet, and it was 9 degrees out, so I knew if I opened my big fat mouth it would be to lay waste to their puny existence. But do you know what is even more horrible about this? It was two women, who were mothers (deduced from their conversation), talking about the other woman as being less than them.

Women often feel that they have less advantage in a work environment because men look down on them. We fight for equal rights and equal stance with these men, but what about equal stance with other women? Is a woman who stayed at home raising children any less valuable to a society than one who worked instead? Is a woman who worked any less of a mother than one who stayed home? No. They are both valuable, and they are both mothers. .

Women want to be treated as equals to men. They want to be on the same footing, the same pedestal. Yet at the same time, they put down other women. Working moms put down stay-at-home moms. Stay-at-home moms put down working moms. How can a woman gripe about the unfairness of gender bias, when she does the same thing?  

Perhaps this is a rant, but I couldn’t help it. I don’t know the woman they spoke of, maybe it was a type of position where the gap could affect her performance, but still I think those two women at Dunks need a kick in the damn teeth. Quit bitching and start respecting.

On a happy note, they made my coffee right and I am in bliss. 

A Year, and Then Some

Hello_logo_smHello there. It’s been a while. A very long while, in fact. A year? Maybe more? Either way, I have decided to come back. 2014 was a rough, hard year. More downs than ups really. I took a long break from the social world, the demands of day to day life too consuming to be involved in anything more. 2015, I hope, will be a year to remember. A year that will work with me, instead of against me. Then again, 9 days into the new year found me at home with a concussion, possible compressed nerve, and some nice hearing loss thanks to a car accident. But, I walked away from that accident pretty damn lucky if I do say so myself.

Either way, I am determined to make 2015 a new, wonderful year. A part of that resolution involves reengaging in the social site. There are many things in the world that are affecting out day to day lives as parents, and I want to create a place for parents of every style to have a place to share their thoughts. Welcome to the new and improved Kay Froebel.