Tag: Family

That Special Person

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Sometimes there are people in our lives that change everything. They are a constant force of strength, of love, of inspiration. Simply having them in your life has made it that much richer, that much more invigorating. I am lucky enough to have many people like that, but out of them all there is one that is special to everyone,  my Nannie. She is sweet, fiery, sharp, and boy if you cross her you better run. (Seriously, run really really fast!)

My Nannie is one the greatest woman I know. She is someone I admire, someone I want to keep with me always. I know each and every person in my family feels the same. I mean look at that face, how could you not love that woman?

Nannie

The Coolest Woman Ever Invented

My mother calls her mom, I call her Nannie, and my daughters call her Nana, she is a woman with many names. Being the Matriarch of a four generation family can’t be easy, especially since we keep popping out more girls. Luckily, she is a force to be reckoned with so she keeps us in line pretty well. Without her threatening to put me through a wall every now and then, I am sure I would not be where I am today.

So this holiday season, try to remember that the only reason you are as awesome as you are is because you had great people shaping you. And if you are not awesome, well, come meet my Nannie. She will whip you into shape in no time!

I wish the happiest of birthdays to my Nannie, who is celebrating her 85th birthday. Everything I wrote here is still true today!

Pride: A Thought on Little Doherty Girls

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Doherty Girls

Five Little Doherty Girls

The five little Doherty girls are as charming as can be

you don’t have to be their mommy to see.

Though from one family they came,

none are really quite the same.

Some are adorably tall

and others so perfectly small.

One is trickier than a fox,

and another is stronger than an ox.

One is quite sweet and another fairly witty.

The youngest, well she is just so itty bitty.

Though they are still very young

Its best not to cross them so bite your tongue

lest your mean words cause them harm.

For these little girls have just as much bite as they do charm.

Gumption: A Thought About Pursuing Dreams

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I am proud to say that I am from a family that has a lot of gumption. We grab life by the balls and make it our bitch. Forgive my brutal honesty, but it is true. There is not a single person in my family who doesn’t rock. On my mother’s side at least. My dad’s side, that’s a whole different story. But screw them we aren’t talking about them.

Point being, I have some great examples to aspire to in my family. This is part of where my determination stems from. It is due to their support that I have come as far as I have. And trust me, it wasn’t easy. I work full time, commute as much as as three hours a day, raise two children, a crazy pooch, and a husband. (Yes, I sometimes feel like I am raising my husband!) I go to school online full time, and maintain two blogs, and I edit on the side. Why do I put myself through this? Because I am determined to get to where I want to be.

I want to write. I want to read. I want to edit. I want that to be my job. I want to be so immersed into the literary world that I can duplicate the library in Beauty and the Beast. Okay that is a bit of an exaggeration, but still. If I had the space I probably would make that my goal.

And you know what? I will achieve that, no matter how hard I have to work. Because that is what my family taught me. Because I have the gumption to make it happen. Do you?

Mommy, I want to be a Mermaid.

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Mermaid Mother and Child by Shijun Munns

Mermaid Mother and Child by Shijun Munns

This little declaration from my open minded three year old was made last night, shortly after my copy of The Little Mermaid arrived in the mail. We were sitting on the couch, preparing for bed when she smiled up at me, her big brown eyes wide with joy.

“Mommy, I’m going to be a Mermaid when I get bigger.” She said it with such reverence, such confidence, such elation and I could not help but feel so proud of her.

Younger and younger, children’s imaginations are being stripped from them in an attempt to educate them on the real world. The magic of being young is losing the war against our perceived reality. In fact, I recently read an article where the writer actually encouraged parents to dissuade their child from creating unobtainable goals, such as being a mermaid, because it sets them up for failure which leads to decreased self esteem.

Well you can dissuade your child, Mrs. Big Shot Parenting Writer, but I will not. My daughter will grow up to be a mermaid, do you know why? Because when I am swimming, I AM a mermaid. When I am in the shower singing horribly off tune, I am doing it to an audience of millions. When I walk down the street, you bet your pretty little behind that flash mobs are dancing around me like they do in Disney movies. Why? Because unlike you, I don’t believe reality is confined to what we see. Reality is what we make of it, and is unique to us all. Where you look at a child flopping chaotically in the pool, I see a mermaid splashing about with her very own purple, sparkly tale.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

Am I a selfish mom?

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I am proud to be a working mom, I will start with that. I am proud that I can help provide for my family and work towards giving them a better future. But I will not lie, sometimes it sucks. Its not just the time away from my kids that gets to me, but also the feelings of my children. Do you have any idea how much it annoys me that I am not my eldest daughter’s favorite? I feel like mom should always be top rung. I mean come on, I only have a few happy years with her before she morphs into a teenager and suddenly I am the enemy, right?

While my daughter is a huge daddy’s girl, he is also not the center of her world. It is Nannie, her grandmother, and my mother, that she idolizes most. I actually do love the relationship between them, and I am thrilled that my daughter has this love for my mother, but boy do I get insanely jealous. I know I know… nobody tops grandma because they get to spoil them rotten. Still, it drives me nuts.  There is a proverb that fits this pretty well. “What the daughter does, the mother did.” I am pretty fond of my Nannie too, so I guess I should have seen this coming.

No matter how I rationalize it, it still makes me jealous! At the same time, I am not about to spoil her to get some love. I mean it makes sense for her to prefer her Nannie, because Nannie gives her cookies and lollipops (as she should), and then mommy makes her wait until after dinner to eat them. To a three year old, this is the most horrible punishment in existence. Believe me, the meltdowns I have witnessed over this very scenario should be videotaped. Maybe next time I will…

Kayla and her Nannie, picking blueberries!

Kayla and her Nannie, picking blueberries!

And I know what your going to say, that deep down mommy is always number one. Be that as it may, it doesn’t usually feel like it.

With my newest daughter, however, I am her favorite. This makes me want to dance, and do a very immature “Na na na na nah!” towards my mother while sticking out my tongue. Hey… I don’t actually do it! It just flashes up in my mind every now and then. Still, I view it as a mini victory as a working mom. Since I work long hours all week, my husband is with our children during the day as he works weekends. He gets to spend a the majority of his time with them. Despite that, I am still the one Maddy smiles at most, the one she coos at, and the one that she is most happy with. She will let other people hold her… for a while. Then she cries and wants mommy again. Even Nannie and Daddy. Ah, the feeling of joy that washes over me is spectacular.

Do you, working moms, worry about your children’s feelings? Do you, stay at home moms, experience this too?

And lastly, am I selfish to want my children to like me best? (The answer to that is probably yes, but oh well I am selfish then!)

An Intro and an Update

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I know, it’s been a heck of a long time, huh? Glad to know that I was missed, and thank you to everyone for all the where-the-hell-are-you emails, I was touched that you guys missed me so much. I know it has been a long time, and I am sorry about that. You would think on bedrest I would have had quite a lot of time on my hands to write, read, review, and just be around. Sorry, it wasn’t that kind of bedrest. It was the I-can’t-move-or-I-may-vomit kind. Yeah, pregnancy and me, we aren’t so cool. In fact, if pregnancy were a person, she and I would be mortal enemies. If I had been writing, it would have been 9 months of moaning and groaning about how much I hated being pregnant, so I figured it was probably best to stay away from the blogging bit for a while.

Now I am back. I will first start by introducing you to my newest little addition.

Madison Marie <3

Madison Marie ❤

Do you see that face? Seriously. It’s a shame this baby factory is closed because I make some cute babies. This is Madison. Maddy was born on June 26th, weighing a whopping 8lbs 2oz. Not bad considering I spent the majority of the pregnancy not eating and getting my fluids through a tube in my arm. She came like a bat out of hell, and I am quite astonished that I was only pushing for 4 minutes. Yeah, did you read that? 4 minutes. Go me.

As you can imagine, adjusting to life with an infant, while recovering from HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum), has not been easy. At the same time, it is a lot easier than I imagined. Seriously, she may have kicked my butt for nine months, but once she was out, she’s like the best baby ever invented. Sleeps through the night, doesn’t cry much, and is just a totally happy pleasant baby. I am quite thankful.

Now, onto business! This site is changing. Now that I am back to being me, for the most part, I have decided to kick things up a notch on this website. It will be splitting. Kay Froebel will still be here as my primary blog, where you can find info on parenting, life, and anything I deem to write about. It will be my foundation, if you will, my platform. Anything related to books has found a new home on Kay’s Novel Nook, where all of my reviews, interviews, short stories, or other “bookwormy” things will be showcased. Please note: Both sites will be getting a makeover so please bear with me during the updates.

Starting October 1st, you can expect to see a slew of new posts going up as I reintroduce myself to the blogging world.

Hope you enjoy!

Love,

Kay

The Woes of Pregnancy

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Holy cow, it is February. Can you believe it is February? I feel like I totally skipped December and January. Perhaps that is because I was so sick, I couldn’t really tell day from night. Well, I am still like that, perhaps even more so, but the little block thing on the bottom of my screen shows a 2, thus reminding me that it is indeed February. On one hand, I feel as though time has flown by. I am now 20 weeks into my pregnancy, and I look at that number and I can’t believe how quickly time went by. But then I remember that I am not due until July, and I feel like throwing a fit because it is so far away. Trust me, if you were having my pregnancy you would throw a fit too. Between the numerous doctors appointments, the trips to the ER, and the constant threat of dehydration and malnourishment, not to mention the fact that I am seriously debating on getting an air mattress for my bathroom, you would be counting down to July like me.

The past few months have been filled with ups and downs. Of course the downs have been really affecting me lately, especially my sanity. I have always mentioned that I am not meant to be a stay at home mother, but I find I have no choice. With how sick I have been, my doctor has withdrawn me from work. It is something very difficult for me. I love my job, and it stresses me out exponentially to not be there. Not to mention when they did release me to go back, I was only there for 2 days before I ended up in the ER. During my brief stint there, I couldn’t help but feel that people were mad that I had been out of work. In fact, I had pretty much received the silent treatment. It’s not really all that common for women to become so sick during pregnancy that they can’t work, so I think a lot of them feel as though I am taking advantage of the situation. I mean, most woman work until the day they give birth! It really depressed me to be treated that way. They just don’t understand how sick I am. Let’s just say that my best friend right now is made of porcelain. I think I spend more time with it, than I do my own husband! I have lost over 12% of my body weight, have had a very difficult time keeping food down, and even fluids. I have very little strength, and can hardly go a few hours without upchucking whatever actually made it to my stomach. My doctor thinks I will be out of work for a long time, at least until my 3rd trimester. That is 8 weeks away. I am left wondering if I will even have a job to go back to. It is driving me batty.

Along with work, I have also lost a lot of my independence, which is something that I have always valued. I am having difficulty completing even the simplest tasks without help from my husband and family. I am very weak, and can’t be out too much without becoming sick. I can’t even go grocery shopping. I can’t even go with my husband grocery shopping. I go crazy cooped up in the house all day. I can’t really even go out to visit my family who live right down the street unless someone drives me. My medication severely limits my ability to drive, and by limit I mean doesn’t allow me to. I know its for the best for the baby, but man does it affect one’s sanity after a few days… never mind a few months.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my sickness is also affecting the baby. She, yes another girl which we are stoked about, is growing at a slow rate, and measuring a little smaller than she is supposed to be. My doctor is not overly concerned yet, but is keeping a close eye on her development. This condition usually causes preterm labor, so it could be very risky to have her developing slower than normal and going early. All of this makes one stressed out, depressed mama.

Though the downs have been harrowing, we have had some great news. My husband has finally been able to find a job and started today. We found out a few weeks ago, coincidentally the very same day I was rushed to the ER after falling due to dehydration and was told I wouldn’t be going to work. Him having a job has helped my stress levels tremendously. If my work does let me go, at least we will still have income. The other good news is, as I mentioned, that we found out we are having another girl. My family is really good at making girls. This will be the 5th baby in the past three years, and the 5th girl! The first boy in this generation is still up for grabs, so my sister and cousins better get cracking!

Despite this, I know that in the end it will be worth it. I will say this though, this mama is done producing. No more babies for me! I don’t think I could survive another round of this!

Have any of you experienced sickness like this? Could I trouble you for some advice? And yes, trust me, I have tried ginger ale and crackers, didn’t work!

Sincerely,

One depressed, stressed out, sick mommy

 

New Beginnings

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2013-4Am I the only one that thought the holidays snuck up on us? Then quickly vanished before you could really enjoy them? It was early November, not even that cold yet when suddenly everything changed. Suddenly it was three days before Christmas, and I realized I have not even started my Christmas shopping. I therefore waited in line at various stores to buy my gifts in true last minute fashion. I also noticed that I was one of the only females in line, and found the fact that I lacked all the preparation my gender seems to favor fairly amusing. Alas, I was never good at planning things out, and unfortunately last-minute shopping is quite common for me. This year I had an excuse, however, and it is this very excuse that has also kept me away from posting here, and completely disappearing from all internet related activity. You see, my honeymoon was a little too successful, and my husband and I are expecting another child.

Im_Pregnant_Large

Though we are thrilled of the news, I cannot say pregnancy and me mix very well. In fact, I despise it. I know the whole thing is supposed to be magical and wonderful, you know the whole creating life bit. But let’s face it. Pregnancy sucks. You ache, you puke, you bloat, you swell, you get fat, you cry at the SPCA commercials, and if you’re like me, you get so sick you need to be medicated. Yup, that’s right. This little momma-to-be has spent the past two months praying to the porcelain gods for hours on end, and when my stomach has emptied it’s contents, passed out on the bed because I can hardly move. Then let’s not forget the bundle of other complications, but let’s move on. As I said, pregnancy and I do not mix.

It would appear though that I am on the mend, and I am quite happy to be doing better. Biggest hurtle right now? Cravings. All I want to eat is red meat. Oh, and did I mention poultry makes me inexplicably sick? Seriously, do you have any idea how hard it is to plan meals when you can’t eat chicken? Not to mention seafood (since I hate it) or even worse, most soups? It’s freaking annoying that’s what. I know I know, it will all be worth it in the end. Come July, the new baby will make me forget all the awful things I endured during my pregnancy.

For now, I am back and will be posting about my pregnancy, as well as how my current little one is taking the news. Currently she is ecstatic and can’t wait to meet her baby sister. She refuses to acknowledge that it may be a baby brother. She says baby brothers pick their noses, so she wants a baby sister. She says if we have a boy, then we will just have to “go buy a new one.” Children are quite adorable.

Well, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season, and may your 2013’s be off to a fantastic start!

And Then They Do…

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When I was pregnant with Kayla, I couldn’t wait to give birth. If I could have, I probably would have fast forwarded through the entire pregnancy just to meet my little girl. In all fairness, I did have an awful pregnancy that resulted in bed rest, but nevermind that. I still could not wait for the day that I had her. And then I did.

They said she was not ready yet, but she apparently had plans of her own. On the day of my 34th week, she came. Quickly, I might add. I had my little girl, and I couldn’t wait to hold her.

Then I couldn’t wait to take her home. Then I couldn’t wait until she slept through the night. Then I couldn’t wait for her to sit up. And then she did all of these things.

Last night I realized something. At every pivotal moment in my child’s life, I have always been a step ahead.

Oh wow! Look hunny! She is crawling! Oh I can’t wait for her to walk!

I know I like to say I enjoy every moment of it as it happens, and I do. But there is always the excitement for the next step.

It wasn’t until last night that the realization dawned on me that my daughter really is growing up. It wasn’t because of some milestone I had been anticipating, it just happened out of the blue. She is picking up things, and putting them into different contexts. Yesterday, I told Kayla that I had to go back to work tomorrow.

“You have to go to work namorrow?” (for some reason, that’s how she pronounces tomorrow)

“Yup. It’s Monday.”

“Oh. I go to work too!”

“Oh! You have to go to work tomorrow too?”

“Yeah, I need some money in my pocket do I go to work too. I money hungry!”

Perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised. My step father is always saying that he is money hungry, but it represented something more. She is having her own conversations, and understanding what they mean. It was bittersweet. She is a little person, not just a toddler.

This reminds me of the song Then They Do by Trace Adkins, which conveniently was my father/daughter song. You look forward to all the things they will do as they grow up, and then they do and you don’t realize how much you miss the past.

So, treasure your children. Or your pet’s. Or your siblings. Things are always changing, and you will never regain that moment again.

Kayla and Kylie a few weeks ago at Loon Mountain Village – Picture taken by Mark Richard

Evening: A Thought of Family Moments

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As the glow from my wedding, and relaxation from my honeymoon begin to fade, I am once more introduced to reality. Last night, I clung to the hope that my vacation could last forever, but alas the stack of bills neatly piled on my counter top near glared at me for even thinking such a thing.

Come morning, I would once again dive back into the daily grind; heading back to work to an unspeakable amount of emails, none of which were particularly pleasant. So to help alleviate that awful thought, my little family and I decided to bust open that top tier of our wedding cake that were were supposed to be saving for our first anniversary. Lets face it. That is just plain nasty. Even my aunt, who is a pretty fantastic lady, said it was absolute disgusting. So in order to make sure such wondrous cake did not go to waste, we sliced it up and devoured it. Our timing was not the best, as it was around 8:00pm when we decided to stuff our faces with sugary goodness. As one can expect, this did not bode well for my little one’s bed time. This little oversight turned into our first, post-marraige family time.

We curled up on the sofa with our bundle of sugared up energy and put on a movie. Safely tucked away in a nice warm blanket, She cuddled between us as watched Puss in Boots. The movie was pretty bad, but the moment was incredible. She laughed, excited over the kitties, and giggled whenever they meowed. She thought Humpty Dumpty was a “white poopie” for a little while, but after a few stifled giggles we explained to her that he was not a poopie, but an egg. She didn’t buy it.
Movie time is something that we have done many times. In fact, we generally try to do it every week. I don’t know why, but there was something special about it last night. Perhaps it was because I was looking for something incredible to wrap up my vacation, but I strongly believe that it was because it was the first time we had done it as a family, bound in love and marriage.

Then of course, her daddy farted and Kayla and mommy quickly relocated to the other side of the couch. While it lasted, it was a truly amazing moment.