Tag: Kids

Damn You, Cookies!

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There are certain times of the year that I suddenly feel a strong sense of ineptness as a mother. The Holidays are one of them. Why? Because I can’t bake. I want you to read those words again. I really want you to understand how bad at baking I am. Even my soon-to-be four year old is suspicious of trying any sweet I produce, especially if it came from the oven. Instant things like pudding, yeah I am okay at those. I still manage to screw them up every now and then though… I won’t lie.

Burnt CookiesMy inability to bake edible things stems from my aversion to following directions. I will admit that when it comes to cooking, I am as against following directions as a man is at asking for directions. What does this have to do with motherhood? Duh. Everything. Okay that’s not true. But seriously. Watch ANY holiday movie, and the women are always baking up a storm with cookies, brownies, cakes, and other sugary delights that make my mouth water. I am lucky I can make pre-made, pre-cut Toll House cookies. Even those I tend to burn to an inedible degree. Hence why I don’t cook them. (Cookie dough FTW)

Now before all you non-baking moms flay me, I am not saying that mothers who don’t bake are bad mothers, it just makes ME feel like an inept mommy. Like I just assumed that when you had children, you were downloaded with all the mommy traits, like baking. I should have known my download was busted when the whole patience thing wasn’t uploaded to my skill set, but still. I just want to bake some damn cookies with my kids! Instead, can I just go through the whole process, and then just skip the cooking part? Yes, I am talking about eating the cookie dough, or brownie dough, or cake dough. (If you lecture me on the whole eating raw egg bit, I will end you.) Is that cheating? Probably.

Part of the reason I am such a novice baker is that it requires exact amounts of things. I don’t cook that way. When I cook, I usually go based on scent. I never measure anything. I don’t even think I have a full measuring cup set, and I know for a fact I don’t have those measuring spoon thingies. I am a pretty good cook if I do say so myself. But baking… it just won’t bend to my will!

Who needs cookies for the holidays? I mean, its not like cookies matter right? Oh wait…. yeah they kind of do. Man, I fail.

Think the kids will be okay feeding Santa meatballs?

Toddlers: A Thought on Birthday Parties

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Handling a birthday party that is not your child’s: Not fun.

My daughter is two, actually she is two and a half! As such, there are a few universal qualities that one can expect. First and foremost, everything is hers. If she likes it, its hers. If it’s purple, it is most definitely hers. If she, at one time in her short life, touched it, then its hers. As much as I try to dissuade this behavior, it seems stubbornly imprinted in her genetic code.

The birthday Girl: Kylie! Isn’t she just too cute?

Today we had a party for my wicked cute niece who turns two next Saturday. We had her party this week because her big obnoxious Auntie (or Tee Tee as she calls her) is selfishly getting married on the most sacred days of her little childhood. Yes, I am that cruel. In all fairness, I did buy her an adorably cute little cake that matched the top tier of my wedding cake with a pretty pink K scrawled on it, so I am not totally heartless. Anyhow, back to my original point. There were presents at this party, presents my beautiful little two and a half year old could not keep her hands off of.

“No no, Kayla those are Kylie’s presents!” Yes, there names are close, blame my sister. Then again, I have an older niece Kiley and I named my daughter Kayla so I guess you can blame me too. Getting derailed again, man I am bad at that! Despite the constant scolding, my daughter needed to get into the presents. She also just had to have the birthday girl princess tiara. Luckily Kylie was not a fan of things on her head so she did not object to my daughter swiping her crown.

My beautiful little thief with her stolen crown 🙂

Then it came time to sing happy birthday. Kayla loves when people sing happy birthday. Actually, let me correct that. Kayla loves when people sing happy birthday to her. She did not like singing to Kylie, which was shown when she burst into tears. Of course everyone thought it was because we were singing loud, but I know the truth. She didn’t get to sit in front of the cake, and everyone wasn’t singing to her. For as shy as my daughter is, she certainly likes attention if it concerns birthday. That could be cause she associates birthday with birthday cake. Seriously. When she sings happy birthday, its not Happy Birthday to you!” its “Happy Birthday Cake to you!” (but she totally means happy birthday cake to me). Yeah I know, she’s wicked cute.

After the cake fiasco passed, we came to the dreaded time that had my skin crawling from the beginning, the presents. Now I refuse to be one of those parents that goes and buys a gift for their kid simply because its another kid’s birthday and they will be getting a ton of presents. So this is how the present opening went.

Kylie opens present. Kylie gets excited for presents. Kylie opens next present. Kayla swipes recently opened present. Kylie wants swiped toy back. Mommy interferes and gives Kylie her new toy back. Kayla has a meltdown. Kylie forgets toy as next toy is opened, and conveniently so does Kayla. Then we repeat.

It was only through great patience, and quick moving parents that we were able to stop a full on toddler brawl. Well except for the plane fight, that one just sort of happened. No bruises though, and thirty seconds later they were happily playing together with all the toys. They are like sisters, Kylie and Kayla. They have a love hate relationship that looks eerily similar to the one I share with my own sister. Luckily, we have moved past the point of fighting over things… most of the time.

 

Have you experienced this issue with your children? What is the best way you have found to surpass the EVERYTHING IS MINE, MINE I TELL YOU, MINE! stage?

Children: A Thought on Personalities

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Children: A Thought on Personalities

If possible, her smile is even cuter now!

That pretty, charming little smile gets me every time. She grins from ear to ear, and her little eyes light up. Then, in a cutesy little voice she tells me she loves me. I can feel it working. My anger begins to crumble, my mouth twitches as it attempts to smile despite my best attempts to stop it. My hands firmly stationed on my hips begin to slacken. She knows it too. That little twinkle in her eye gets brighter and brighter. Somehow her previous tantrum doesn’t seem quite so bad anymore. I am weak!

Now there are still certain things she does that no amount of the cutesy face can calm that raging parental anger, such as the last time when she threw her cereal bowl, which was of course filled with milk. However little things, like her getting in trouble for hitting our dog with her over-sized teddy bear, just seem so… miniscule compared to the power of that adorable little smile.

Take the past week for example. My daughter is a whirlwind of mess. She can destroy a room in less than five minutes. Given the right amount of sugar, that five can quickly drop to one. She plays with a toy for about ten seconds until she decides it is no longer worth her attention, then moves on to the next. Much to our annoyance, she usually leaves this toy on and upside down so that some random key is pressed and it just keeps repeating whatever noise that key causes. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? Didn’t I make a rule when I gave birth to her that no one was allowed to buy her toys that make loud noises? Where the heck did all these things come from! If only I could find my screwdriver, I would yank those batteries out! However that would just cause more mayhem.

She is proudly rocking her Auntie’s Versace sunglasses 🙂

You see, my daughter is a lover of broken things. If it doesn’t do what she knows it is supposed to do, she follows us around the house repeating, and I stress the repeating, this conversation…

“Mommy, it broken!”

“Uh oh, why don’t you play with another toy?”

“No, you buy new one.”

Now, I have no idea where she got this buy new one thing. My fiancé and I do not spoil her, and we do not buy her many toys. Most of them she either steals from my mother’s daycare, or a certain sister of mine buys them for her. Don’t deny it! You spoil her and you know it! It used to be “You fix it.” But apparently she has entered into the “buy me this” stage.

How cute are those boots? To this day she still loves them, although they no longer fit!

Luckily, as we do not buy her many toys, when we go to the store she doesn’t ask to be taken to the toy department. Seldom does she ask for us to buy her a new toy, unless of course a current one is broken. Instead, the most common thing she asks for is to buy her shoes. This is completely and totally my fault. I am a lover of shoes, and my love has transcended to her. We cannot walk past shoes without the two of us going “Ooo new shoes!” My poor fiancé is then left trying to drag us both away. She is also obsessed with sunglasses and purses, again which is totally my fault. I love buying them for her because she just looks so darn cute walking around in her little aviators and a bright little purse seating on the crook of her arm.

So is this buying trait my fault? Probably. However I think I might still blame my mom and my sister. It is much easier that way! If I take responsibility, then I will have to stop buying her those cute little shoes, and there is no way that can happen. Fall is here, and do you know what that means? It means it is time to buy boots! I can’t wait!

Are there things that you notice yourself buying your children a lot? If so, what is your “spoil” object?