Am I a selfish mom?

I am proud to be a working mom, I will start with that. I am proud that I can help provide for my family and work towards giving them a better future. But I will not lie, sometimes it sucks. Its not just the time away from my kids that gets to me, but also the feelings of my children. Do you have any idea how much it annoys me that I am not my eldest daughter’s favorite? I feel like mom should always be top rung. I mean come on, I only have a few happy years with her before she morphs into a teenager and suddenly I am the enemy, right?

While my daughter is a huge daddy’s girl, he is also not the center of her world. It is Nannie, her grandmother, and my mother, that she idolizes most. I actually do love the relationship between them, and I am thrilled that my daughter has this love for my mother, but boy do I get insanely jealous. I know I know… nobody tops grandma because they get to spoil them rotten. Still, it drives me nuts.  There is a proverb that fits this pretty well. “What the daughter does, the mother did.” I am pretty fond of my Nannie too, so I guess I should have seen this coming.

No matter how I rationalize it, it still makes me jealous! At the same time, I am not about to spoil her to get some love. I mean it makes sense for her to prefer her Nannie, because Nannie gives her cookies and lollipops (as she should), and then mommy makes her wait until after dinner to eat them. To a three year old, this is the most horrible punishment in existence. Believe me, the meltdowns I have witnessed over this very scenario should be videotaped. Maybe next time I will…

Kayla and her Nannie, picking blueberries!

Kayla and her Nannie, picking blueberries!

And I know what your going to say, that deep down mommy is always number one. Be that as it may, it doesn’t usually feel like it.

With my newest daughter, however, I am her favorite. This makes me want to dance, and do a very immature “Na na na na nah!” towards my mother while sticking out my tongue. Hey… I don’t actually do it! It just flashes up in my mind every now and then. Still, I view it as a mini victory as a working mom. Since I work long hours all week, my husband is with our children during the day as he works weekends. He gets to spend a the majority of his time with them. Despite that, I am still the one Maddy smiles at most, the one she coos at, and the one that she is most happy with. She will let other people hold her… for a while. Then she cries and wants mommy again. Even Nannie and Daddy. Ah, the feeling of joy that washes over me is spectacular.

Do you, working moms, worry about your children’s feelings? Do you, stay at home moms, experience this too?

And lastly, am I selfish to want my children to like me best? (The answer to that is probably yes, but oh well I am selfish then!)

Moms: A Thought about Schedules

Moms: A Thought about Schedules

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week, I had the amazing opportunity to interview an author I have been following for a while now, Krystal Wade. The details of the interview will be posted once I sit my butt down to actually finalize the post, but let’s not focus on that. During the interview, Krystal mentioned a few things that really got me thinking. Modern mothers have some serious schedules, most without a minute to spare! So what do we do with our time? The better question is what do we not do!

When we go about our day to day lives, we seldom think about how much we are actually doing. Unless we are in a frustrated mood, our busy schedules hardly register. I got to thinking about this because during my discussion with Krystal, we talked about our schedules. So to better understand just how much I have on my figurative plate, I wrote down all the major things I do. This list is just my basic responsibilities, no shopping, no bill paying, no social obligations. These are just the majorities.

First, and most importantly I am a mom. As some of you may know I am the proud mommy of a two and a half year old diva with an obsession for shoes. Those of you that are parents may cringe when I mention her age, and you should! She is in full terrible-twos mode! I am also a soon to be wife to an incredible man who helps make this crazy schedule possible. Without him, I would be lost!

The next thing is obvious, but I should still mention it. I run this blog, which is a complete blast by the way. I actually spend a lot of time reading books to review, reading other blogs to comment on, managing the social media, etc. Many of you understand this, but for those that don’t I will just say that it can be a bit time consuming, although awesomely fun.

When I am not reading, or writing for my blog you can usually find me writing in general. I write my own novels, though I hoard them like a crazy person and refuse to let the world see the big ones, which of course is most of them. Writing for me is a major stress reliever, and even if I only get a chance to write a few sentences before I can no longer keep my eyes open it is worth it.

Now for the nitty-gritty stuff, meaning my job. I work full time at a very time-demanding job that is 40 miles away from where I live. The commute sucks, but hey it’s a hour of peace that enables me to brainstorm my posts, as well as butcher my favorite songs with my loud, off-key voice. My job is great in the respect that I am kept busy, I get to travel, and I get to meet incredible, influential people in the healthcare world. Plus it pays my bills, so I can’t hate on that!

Sound busy yet? No? You need more? Okay great! I am also a full time student majoring in English Language and Literature in hopes of eventually becoming an editor. Sound fun? I certainly think so! It has been such a wonderful experience so far. I am positively thrilled to be back in school, even though it has effectively reduced the amount of sleep I get. Some people have told me I am crazy, but I just smile. Despite the crazy, hectic, often frantic days I am content with my schedule. There is not a single thing I would give up!

Oh! I am also planning a wedding which is happening in three and a half weeks! So raise your glass to the multi-tasking, I-have-more-to-do-today-than-physically-possible mothers in your life! They may not all have schedules like mine, but you can be assured it is just as hectic!

What does your schedule look like?