Over the past few weeks my household has gone from normal crazy to psychotic crazy. Even my dog has felt the dramatic change in the air and has become increasingly more demanding of my attention. This, as you can imagine, sparks a war between my pooch Zoey and my daughter Kayla. This battle is never more hectic than in the morning, at 6:30am.

My dog is lazy. There really is no other way to describe it. She sleeps a good portion of the day, and when she isn’t sleeping she is resting. She is a bed hog and always likes to curl up at my feet. During the morning, however, when she knows Kayla will be coming in at any moment she moves and curls up against my back. Then, as my door creaks open and the my little curly-haired clone whispers her normal “Good Morning Mommy Daddy”, the mayhem begins. (yes, she calls us mommy daddy, not mommy and Daddy” ) Kayla comes to the edge of the bed, to which my dog growls and grunts in annoyance. She never snaps or makes any other aggressive move, just growls and grunts. If Kayla persists, as in she climbs onto the bed with us, Zoey then begins to whine. She does not want to get up. Lazy thing.

Then the chaos strikes. Kayla yells at Zoey, “No! No Zoey!” and the dog whines more. Kayla yells louder. Daddy grunts and burrows under the pillows. Kayla starts laughing. Zoey keeps whining. Mommy tries to pretend she can’t hear anything. Kayla starts jumping on the bed. The dog starts growling again. Daddy gets cranky (he is so not a morning person). Mommy finally gets up and begins her day.

I brush my teeth. “Mommy I want to brush my teeth.” Zoey practically sits on my feet.

I brush my hair. “Mommy I want to brush my hair.” Zoey is still sitting at my feet.

I put my boots on. “Mommy where my boots go?” Zoey sits next to me trying to get onto my lap.

I grab a coffee. “Mommy I have some coffee too?” Zoey runs around my feet, causing me to trip.

I put my perfume one. “Mommy me too!” Zoey sneezes like crazy because she never moves from my feet.

I grab my purse. “Mommy where my purse go?” Zoey runs to the door, as long as it isn’t more than two feet away from my current position. By now, Daddy is stumbling out of bed.

I give my daughter a kiss, my hubby a kiss, and pat my dog on her fluffy head. I then try to squeeze out the door without allowing either one to follow despite their best attempts.

What is your morning ritual? If you say you wake up naturally, I will hate you! Just kidding. I won’t hate you. Just mildly dislike!